The other day, I was checking my email when I saw I got a notification from a blog I’d never heard of before. This blog was Normal Happenings and they had challenged me to take part in their daily prompts. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a good answer for that day’s prompt. But I bookmarked the page because it seemed like a fun meme to try.
Today I pulled the blog back up and decided I didn’t like that prompt either. So I checked out the prompts from the past couple days and saw one I thought looked fun. I figure it couldn’t hurt to do this question a few days too late, so here we go.
Who was your very first celebrity crush? Tell us the story behind it.
As you probably know if you’ve spent even a few minutes on my blog, I’m a lesbian. However, I didn’t realize that until more recently. I’ve known I liked girls since high school, but I didn’t figure out my label until late 2017. So determining my first celebrity crush is a bit of a challenge.
Should I go with Aaron Carter?
After all, I was obsessed with his music back in the third and fourth grade. But I distinctly recall never thinking of him in a “romantic” way until my mom teased me about having a crush on him. Since she thought I did, I assumed it must’ve been true. I remember kissing his poster once because I’d seen girls do that on TV and thought that’s just what you did when you had a crush. But I never fantasized about dating him. So maybe he doesn’t count.
Maybe I should go with Hilary Duff.
I was even more obsessed with her than I was with Aaron. But it was more idolatry than infatuation. I wanted to be like her, not be with her. So maybe I didn’t have a crush on her either (though she is entirely to blame for the years I spent wanting to be a pop star).
I could pick Christina Aguilera.
She was the first girl I was truly curious about. I remember I read somewhere she had nude photos and being aghast (because I was fourteen and hadn’t yet learned the wrongness of slut-shaming). I decided to look them up online because I needed to be sure they didn’t exist (at least, that’s what I told myself). But I know a part of me wanted to see them (I only found behind-the-scenes pictures from the Stripped photoshoot). I also didn’t delete my search history and my mom asked me about it the next day. She told me it was okay to be curious. I wanted to die. Then I buried that memory for years until one day (as I was growing more comfortable with the idea of liking girls) I remembered it. So does she really count if I blocked the memory of ever even being curious?
Perhaps I should pick Tom Felton.
He was my pretend boyfriend in high school. He was the guy I could fantasize about from a safe distance. He could be anything I wanted him to be and so could our future (as long as I never admitted to myself it could never actually happen). But I did latch onto him during my dark/pseudo-emo phase. I decided I liked the Dark Arts and Draco Malfoy. Tom played Draco in the Harry Potter films, so perhaps it was merely the natural progression. I remember secretly not finding him that attractive. Maybe it was all just compulsory heterosexuality.
In the end, I think I’ll go with Demi Lovato.
Demi is the first woman I let myself admit I was attracted to. The (now cringy) “Lesbian for Demi” era changed me. I had a crush on Demi before I fully realized it and I still do ten years later. She is the sun in my sky and the water in my bottle. Or something. Hey, I never said I was good at romance.
So, who was your first celebrity crush? Do you have a fun story to go along with it? Tell me everything in the comments!
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